Page 29 - The Intentional Parent

to give children choices so easy to take. The reason, I think is because not giving children choices can be so hard to do! Putting your foot down and letting your child know he has no choice can result in whining, complaining, foot stomping, mouthing off, aggressive language, and a host of other undesirable behaviors. So, take a step back for a minute and answer this question: Is it more important to give your child choices or to accept the choices you make for him? The answer is that it depends on the situation. It is important to let your child know you are an open and fair minded leader, and not a self absorbed, tyrannical one. If you become the latter, then your kids will rebel against you and try to overcome your government. Oppositional kids (kids who almost never want to listen) don’t know what they don’t know, and what they don’t know most is how important it is to absorb the wisdom of people who want to keep them out of trouble.
Here are some guidelines for giving children choices while remaining in a position of leadership:
Guideline Number One: Give choices when the choice is inconsequential (like the choice between two healthy food items).
What this sounds like when talking to a child:
“You can try the broccoli or have some carrots, whichever you want.” Then go back and give it the old college try, “Now why don’t you give some broccoli a try?” not “Would you like to give some broccoli a try?”
Note about offering children food choices: Generally it does not pay to beg your children to eat certain foods. When parents have a very difficult time getting their children to accept healthy foods, it is because there are other not so healthy food choices in their lives. So
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 29