Page 30 - The Intentional Parent

if broccoli is what you are trying to get them to eat but fast food is a regular part of their food choices, good luck with that. Healthy eating is a habit. Fast foods are designed to have an impact on choice making. If the fast foods are not available, the healthy foods become the habit.
Guideline Number Two: Give choices when you have specified a contingency that your child has successfully managed (like when you “make a deal” for a reward privilege, provide a choice of what privilege he or she may choose).
What this sounds like when talking to a child:
“I think its great that you were able to keep your promise about cleaning your room. Now that you’ve done such a great job, you can have your choice of downloading five songs, or you can have Billy here for a sleepover.”
Guideline Number Three: Give your child his or her choice of consequence for misbehavior, just make sure you specify what the choices are. Often, I tell parents to give their kids the choice between apologizing and taking a time out. However the apology cannot be lip service. When giving an apology, the child must be able to articulate what he should have done instead, or it’s straight to time out anyway. Also, if the child uses the apology as a maneuver to get away with whatever he or she is trying to get away with, straight to the time out as well.
What this sounds like when talking to a child:
“ You should not have tripped your brother. Do you have anything to say to him? How do you think you are going to handle things next time? ”
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 30