Page 27 - The Intentional Parent

They help you move from thinking to doing. Since every child is different with respect to their temperament, you might find that some actions work better than others. It is okay to experiment, all of life is an experiment. Wear you lab glasses!
In the following sections I will discuss how these techniques are used and in what situations. While all of these techniques apply kids from 2 through the teen years, the teen years require more emphasis in some of these areas and less in others. You can supplement the information here with my teen parenting book which is also posted at centerihr.mashable.com
Leaders Make Decisions and Direct Behavior: Give Choices but Limit the Type of Choice
Giving your child the opportunity to make a choice is a parenting “action,” but I find it is a source of great misunderstanding amongst parents. Your position as family leader requires that you take action, independently of what action your child wants you to take. Parents sometimes treat their children like “little equals” and somewhere along the line, parents have been given the impression that giving children choices is the best parenting tool you can employ. It isn’t. If you give your child too many choices they will start giving you choices like, “you can buy me one toy, or two tpys, but not no toys.” Some choosing is fine and recommended. If you give your child too many choices, she will think her opinion is as important as yours is, and her position with regard to family leadership is also equal -- and that will cause you to bicker with your child over things like whether she wants to get in the car when you have some important place to go, whether she can have a new cell phone every other week, and whether she can order
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 27