Page 40 - The Intentional Parent

With younger children (two to six) you can say:
“I am listening but it is still no.”
Once you give “The Reminder” your kids will never have a legitimate claim to you “not listening. Of course that will not stop them from saying you are not listening, but you just told them twice that you are.
Step Three: “The Shut Down”
Have you been a good listener and fair with respect to listening to your child’s perspective so far? At least according to me you have been. But wait, the pecking continues. Time for “The Shut Down.” The Shut Down represents your leadership option of closing a conversation. It sounds like this:
“I am not going to listen to this anymore. The conversation is over.”
With a younger child it is appropriate to ignore, simply walk away or give a time out. By the way, we are going to talk more about time outs as a parenting action but I will give you a quick tip here as well: Never threaten a time out. Just do it. Threatening a time out just gives kids the sense that they can continue behaving badly until you decide to take action.
Summing Up
No is probably the single most important word you can say to your child. It teaches respect for boundaries and it clarifies and reinforces your role as family leader. As with every other
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 40