Page 99 - The Intentional Parent

1.Provides feedback (Your homework hasn’t been very good lately.) 2.Provides support and behavioral expectation (We all go through
tough times with our responsibilities, but you have to improve what
you are doing)
3.Provides a clear plan of action with another dollop of support. (Homework is going to be done directly after school. You are going to have to show me everything you hand in. It’s probably going to be an adjustment you are not going to like very much, but you can do it.)
4.Models (see last chapter) that the parent is there to offer assistance. (Let’s figure it out.)
In order to succeed in your “talking” sessions with your children you have to make an honest assessment as to whether your communication style:
• is too wordy
• lacks assertiveness
• places your child in charge of the conversation
• is more of an interrogation and less of a conversation • lacks a clear statement of goals
• does not provide a supportive model
• gives your child opportunity to whine and argue
The Intentions
These points become a natural segue into helping you practice of your intentional thinking:
My child is not my equal, so I need for him or her to pay attention to what I am saying.
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 99