Page 98 - The Intentional Parent

Your homework hasn’t been very good lately. We all go through tough times with our responsibilities, but you have to improve what you are doing. Homework is going to be done directly after school. You are going to have to show me everything you hand in. It’s probably going to be an adjustment you are not going to like very much, but you can do it. Let’s figure it out.
Exact words aren’t important. You don’t have to sound like you are reading a script.
Which person is placed in more of a leadership position? in “Approach One” seems to me, like the parent is asking the child to manage his or her own behavior and soliciting from the child what he or she wants to do. I don’t favor this approach for correcting a behavior because if the child were capable of that kind of self- correction there would probably be no homework problem to begin with.
Critics might say it is more important for a child to become “self motivated” and that is why Approach One might be better. Hogwash! Self motivation is something that evolves from experiencing the consequences of one’s behavior and sometimes those consequences are not good. Good family leaders want to be in charge of controlling the consequences. This way children don’t always have to learn that the natural consequence of not doing homework is failure in the larger world of school. Much better for them to get their lumps (consequences) in the smaller venue of home.
Approach Two is a better presentation of information because it does the following:
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 98