Page 7 - KOG Glory & Grace, Issue 8, November 2022

Did everything else go according to plan?
Kyla: No, not by a long shot. We were newly married, I had just finished a demanding residency, my career seemed to be lining up. But everything changed drastically. The morning after we secured a rental home in Billings, we received a call from my mother that my sister and all three of my nieces (ages 8, 5, and 2 at the time) had been killed in southeastern Wyoming during a flash flood. Bruce went back to MI to prepare our move and I went to grieve our loss with my family. Bruce and I were in the first year of our marriage and here we were navigating one of those life-altering events that defines a "before-and-after." I had to figure out how to process the trauma of this enormous loss so I could begin my career about 6 weeks later. Counseling helped me and my family move forward, but I was rocked to my core.
What happened next?
Bruce: Somehow we made it through the first two years of marriage despite dealing with almost every major stressor one could encounter. We are stronger because of it. While Kyla was getting situated with her career I spent time volunteering with Eagle Mount, working in the Lab at St. Vincent's, and also worked as an Eye Recovery Tech with SightLife (out of Seattle) for a few years. I was making a good wage, but realized much of that salary would have gone straight to paying for someone else to take care of our children.
Kyla: We held off starting a family because we already had about all we could handle at that time. Time marched on, and when we started to have conversations about having children, I think we both could have gone either way.
Kallista (left) and Gracie (right)
We had been through a lot and certainly had enough to challenge us, interest us, and excite us as a couple. Perhaps we didn’t know what we were missing! We chose to have babies in the end and were blessed to welcome Kallista in 2015 and Gracie in 2017. Balancing work and family is a challenge, to put it mildly. We had no family close by and day care options in Billings were not optimal. We decided Bruce would stay at home to care for the kids a majority of the time.
What is it like to be a stay-at-home Dad?
Bruce: The best thing I enjoy about being a stay-at-home parent is the amazing relationships I have with my girls. Having had a career beforehand, and doing as many things as I could before getting married and having kids allows me to enjoy and appreciate the time I have with them. Gender norms are definitely still in play in our community and it can feel like you are on an island by yourself. Those first few years I wasn't so sure I was cut out for this role. But it's almost been 7 years now and I love it.
Where has God been in all of this?
Kyla: He’s been there through all of it, the good times, the bad times...it’s certainly been a journey. I
never felt like life wasn’t fair and I never lost hope, even in the worst of it. We were never promised that life would be easy and it seems to me that none of us completely escape hardship. There have been people and circumstances that came our way at precisely the right moments, to get us through some really tough times. I believe strongly that those interactions were orchestrated by a much bigger presence than ourselves.
Bruce: We came into our relationship as believers. We were raised in different church traditions, but found we shared much in common in terms of faith. God has been our guide since we dated and although we tried a number of churches before we settled into a faith community, King of Glory has been a good fit for us.