Page 30 - The 'X' Chronicles Newspaper - February 2014 Edition

There’s No Such Thing As Chemtrails There's No Such Thing As Chemtrails by Grant Hamilton My first exposure to the madness of the "chemtrails" movement came in a vacation a few years ago to Montreal and New York City. While my girlfriend and I were climbing Mont Royal, we came across a bench that had a large amount about of 9/11 conspiracy theory- type stuff scrawled on it in Sharpie. This would have been in either 2007 or '08, I can't remember which. But the bench also had a website on it, inviting people to learn more. I took a picture, so I could remember the website and check it out later. Note: Not because I actually believe any instantly into water as if they popped a water recently uploaded a video from Boulder, of the "WTC inside job" nuttiness, but because balloon, it's obvious that the snow is actually a Colorado, and found that the result was similar. I wanted to laugh at the REST of the nuttiness! styrofoam hybrid. Or something. Plait says that this is how snow behaves (Aside: For the longest time, the single Oh, and the lighter leaves a scorch mark normally. “I’ve seen some bizarre conspiracy stall in the men's room at the Double Decker (uh, soot) which is further proof that the snow is theories in my time, but this may be the plain also had a faded website address markered on it. some kind of chemical. Like there's no such old weirdest: The snow that paralyzed Atlanta, It's long painted over now, but I stared at it so thing as dirty snow. Georgia in January of 2014 was not *really* many times, I still remember what it was: Ironically, there really is a problem with snow,” he wrote. digihitch.com. I assumed with every pee that it airplane contrails. According to some theories, He added, “Yeah, not so much. Oddly was some kind of sketchy singles dating site, contrails act as a "seed" for cloud formation, enough, this idea struck me as being really, but I just checked, and it's an online bulletin and air travel is responsible for an overall really, REALLY silly, so I decided to test it board for hitchhikers. The more you know!) increase in the amount of high-level cirrus myself with the help of some freshly fallen Anyway, the website on the Mont Royal clouds since about 1960 or so. snow in Boulder. I repeat the experiments done bench led to a crazy conspiracy theory site, but That's right — it's cloudier now than it in other videos – making a snowball and most prominent the day I visited was used to be, and contrails are the reason. holding a lighter up to it – and show that… well, chemtrails. These high-level clouds have two see for yourself. But can you guess *why* the In case you are blissfully living your life effects, according to a study by a Pennsylvania snow doesn’t appear to melt, and why it gets in the assumption that most people are rational, State researcher. The first is that they shade the scorched?” I'll explain: "chemtrails" are the nutso belief that Earth a little bit, reflecting some sun away and He says in the video that the snow “is jets overhead leaving a white trail (actually reducing the amount of light and heat that melting” when a flame is applied to it–turning called a contrail) are spraying some type of reaches the surface. That means daytime highs from a solid into liquid, but he notes that it isn’t chemical over us all, on behalf of the U.S. are a little less warm than they would otherwise dripping. government (or maybe the One World be. “I think that as it turns into water, the Government, or the Illuminati, or the Reptilians But the second effect is that they trap the snow is absorbing the water and becoming — whatever). heat that does make it through, thus keeping slushy. This is the same thing that happens when It's bonkers, of course. The white tails overnight lows a little less cool than they would you make a snowcone” when the syrup is are condensation, as I've known since Grade 6 otherwise be. poured on the ice and absorbs. or so. In general, the temperature swing The char marks on the snow is caused by Apparently, though, the sight of a few between the warmest part of the day and the burning butane from the lighter. The charred jets overhead in Brandon on Wednesday sent coolest part of the night is reduced. substance is soot, Plait says, adding that some locals into a tizzy. And, because these cirrus clouds are “incomplete combustion products” causes the I hope they were being ironic, but better blankets than they are mirrors, the overall blackened marks. people apparently called the radio station and effect is to contribute a little bit to global Plait then showed a time-lapse of the posted online about the crazy chemtrails. warming. same snowball melting on a hot pan. FACT: It wasn't the army spreading So yes, conspiracy theorists, the white According to AJC.com, one user said in chemicals over Brandon (remember — they trails behind planes are spewing out chemicals a YouTube “You’re being distracted from all don't even come spray malathion like they used (mostly fuel exhaust and the "chemical" of H20) fronts, you’re preoccupied. They’re up here to) but instead some live-fire practice. The and they are definitely causing a man-made signing bills, the government, to pretty much contrails are normal. They're just the natural effect on the ground. take away more of your rights and freedoms.” results of hot humid air from the engines of the It's just not what you think it is. [] Some of these videos generated hundreds of planes meeting the cold, dry air of the thousands of views. atmosphere. Fake Snow? Conspiracy Theories Plait reasons that “unless folks can learn It is, by the way, the exact same process Over ‘Burning,’ ‘Plastic,’ from their mistaken ideas, this kind of thinking that happens when you throw boiling water ‘Chemtrails’ Snow Abound is dangerous. We know that political parties and outside in winter. ideologically based ‘think tanks’ will spread The latest permutation of the weird disinformation that gets absorbed by the public chemtrail theory (some people will believe Over the past week, there’s been a through various media. That’s no tinfoil-hat ANYTHING) is that the snow which fell in the number of videos claiming that “fake snow” or theory, that’s fact—you only need to read about southern U.S. was actually a chemical "fake", plastic, geo-engineered, and burning snow fell the history of the tobacco industry (and now the maybe nanobots. Or genetically engineered in Georgia and Alabama. Other claimed that fossil fuel industry) to see this.” snow. Or something. chemtrails or nanobots were responsible. “We need to teach people how to think As "proof", some loons have been These videos showed people attempting (and not just what to think), or else we won’t be posting videos of their crazy attempts to burn to burn the snow with a lighter or a blowtorch able to separate the factual conspiracies from the snow, and when holding a lighter under it for then when they see it not melt and see the snow the fantasy ones. That’s why I take the time to a second or three doesn't turn the snowball blackened, they claim the snow is fake. debunk the silly ones. Because not all of them Science writer and astronomer Phil Plait are so silly,” he writes in Slate. []