Page 29 - 200710 - The 'X' Chronicles Newspaper - October 2007

Pilots Conspire Against Reality 29 Pilots Conspire Against Reality 29 Chilli-based anaesthetic Plots conspire against to us mere mortals. Chilli-based anaesthetic Sorry, but I tend to believe in the cock- reality up theory of history. That's the one that says that won't leave you won't leave you drooling By Andrew Hitchon most plans go wrong, and the bigger they are the drooling more likely they are to fail. They may still lead AREN'T conspiracies great? to mighty upheavals or to untold misery, but the We love 'em. There seems to be chances are they won't work out they way their NewScientist.com news service something innately satisfying about a view creators intend. That was true of Hitler, and which explains all those things going on that we ultimately of Stalin. Hate being left numb and drooling after don't like or don't understand - such as wars, Mind you, even I still think there was visiting the dentist? A local anaesthetic that UFO sightings, the proliferation of theme bars, something a little bit dodgy about JFK's trip to targets just pain-sensing neurons could make and why we don't all have electric cars. Dallas. these trips less traumatic. As a group of inquest jurors are likely to By rights, York should be Conspiracy Local anaesthetics such as lignocaine find out in the coming months, there are an City, given its link to one of the most famous, work by diffusing into all neurons and blocking awful lot of people who believe almost any and certainly one of the most celebrated, channels that transport sodium ions across cell important event happens because they - a examples in history. membranes - leaving the person in the dentist's mysterious and all-powerful group of Not that it's called a conspiracy. No, it chair pain-free but numb. conspirators - have concocted a scheme so bears the somewhat snappier title of the Clifford Woolf and his colleagues at secret and foolproof that you and I haven't the Gunpowder Plot, and its most famous Harvard Medical School have now discovered a slightest idea what's going on. participant was one Guy Fawkes, York-born and way of blocking just the pain neurons using advertisementAnd you can't disprove an old boy of St Peter's School. capsaicin - the active ingredient in chilli peppers them. If you point out to a believer the evidence So why is it that, in recent years, any - along with a version of lignocaine that can't is against them they simply say that's all part of attempt in this city to have a really good diffuse through cell membranes unassisted. the conspiracy - it's what they want you to November 5 event has ended with a whimper Capsaicin activates the TRPV1 receptor believe, and the real truth is still out there. rather than a bang? For years people on pain neurons. This in turn opens up a channel The historian Andrew Roberts reckons complained there wasn't a good central bonfire on the neurons' membrane, allowing the the Western obsession with conspiracy theories bash. Then, when they actually had one for the lignocaine to pass though. The drug then gets to started with Watergate. I think it goes back 400th anniversary in 2005, it fell decidedly flat, work blocking the sodium channels. In tests on further. But Watergate, with a cover-up despite all the good intentions. rats the drug combination completely blocked sanctioned in the White House being picked Now one of the bigger events in the city pain without affecting motor function or other apart by fearless investigators, fed by a has been called off for health and safety reasons. senses (Nature, DOI: 10.1038/nature06191). mysterious insider passing on priceless tips in So what is it with York and Bonfire Woolf's team is testing other chemicals underground car parks, and leading to the fall of Night? It almost seems like the city has been that can activate the TRPV1 receptor, since the President himself, is surely the template for afflicted by one of those c-words - no, not a people may not like the initial pain of a dose of much subsequent paranoia. conspiracy, not even a cock-up, more like a chilli pepper. Tests on volunteers are expected It's certainly not the only example curse. [] within two years. [] history affords us. To take two particularly Jet Bombs Scotland... horrific examples, Stalin deliberately starved Jet Bombs Scotland... PREMIERE PSYCHICS millions of Ukrainians to death in the 1930s Oops, Sorry! PREMIERE PSYCHICS Oops, Sorry! without the outside world knowing. Then, in 1942, a group of German officials held a conference which secretly laid Scotland, UK (AHN) -- A Royal Air plans for the extermination of all European Jews Force fighter jet on a routine flight has (the killing had been going on for some time accidentally dropped a 14kg practice bomb on already, but less methodically). Scotland Monday. But slightly curiously, many conspiracy The RAF said it has no idea whether the theories seem to be aimed at British and device survived the fall and have yet to locate American targets - whether governments, the bomb. Nevertheless, it is warning the public industry bosses or Hollywood moguls - rather against touching it. than the many tyrants and dictators our world While practice bombs are not live has produced. devices, they are made to look and feel like real As a result, there are numerous theories bombs. about the Holocaust, which relate not to the "Even if the practice bomb survived the Nazis secretly perpetrating mass murder, but to fall, we would stress it is highly unlikely to whether Winston Churchill and/or Franklin represent a significant danger to the public," a Roosevelt knew about it and covered it up. spokesman for RAF Lossiemouth said. Similarly, one might think the Japanese surprise "However, anyone who finds what they attack on Pearl Harbor was a pretty successful believe to be the bomb, which is approximately military conspiracy, at least in the short term. two and a half feet long and dark blue in colour, But the theorists' main interest has been in is advised to inform the police," the spokesman whether Churchill and/or Roosevelt knew about added. Isn't it incredible how great it feels the attack beforehand and did nothing, because The plane, a Tornado GR4 aircraft was when you connect with a psychic who it was great excuse to get the US into the war on a routine flight from RAF Lossiemouth in authentically cares AND has talent? (Churchill was certainly happy to get the Moray, when he bomb accidentally fell during At Premiere Psychics, that is exactly Americans in, and for some that's proof its 90 minute flight, around half of which was what you will find. Great talent! enough). over the sea. Great people! Visit them today at Of course, conspiracies do exist, in all However, the overland part of the areas of life, from people planning to leave their journey included a low-level route through www.premierepsychics.com partners for another to companies looking to Northumberland and north-east Scotland which move production abroad. makes the possibility of the bomb hitting a or call them on their toll free number: Where the theorists leave me behind is populated area probable. [] their vision of almost godlike conspirators, 1-866-803-6593 moving human puppets around in stratagems Visit The ‘X’ Zone Radio Online which are as infallible as they are unfathomable www.xzone-radio.com