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LEAD ARTICLE | EASTERN HORIZON 5

we are in danger of losing our
independence when we restrain
our emotions and discipline the
mind. Actually, the opposite is
true. Like their counterparts of
love and compassion, anger and
the afflictive emotions can never
be used up. They have, rather, a
propensity to increase, like a river
flooding in summer when the
snow melts, so that far from being
free, our minds are enslaved and
rendered helpless by them. When
we indulge our negative thoughts
and feelings, inevitably we become
accustomed to them. As a result,
Ethics for the New Millennium Dalai Lama: Here I would like to tell
gradually we become more prone
a story. Once there was a Kadampa
to them and more controlled by
master called Gampowa who had
them. And we become habituated to
many responsibilities. One day he
exploding in the face of displeasing
complained to the Kadampa master
circumstances.
Dromtonpa that he had hardly any
time for his meditation or for his
Inner peace, which is the principal
Dharma practice. So Dromtonpa
characteristic of happiness, and
responded by agreeing with him,
anger cannot coexist without
“Yes, that’s right. I don’t have
undermining one another. Indeed,
any time either.” Then once an
negative thoughts and emotions
immediate affinity was established,
undermine the very causes of peace
Dromtonpa skillfully said, “But, you
and happiness. In fact, when we
know what I am doing is for the
think properly, it is totally illogical
Question: What should you say service of the Dharma. Therefore, I
to seek happiness if we do nothing
to a loved one who is talking feel satisfied.” Similarly, if you find
to restrain angry, spiteful, and
about a third person with hatred one of your beloved ones speaking
malicious thoughts and emotions.
or anger? On the one hand, you against someone out of anger or
Consider that when we become
want to show compassion for the hatred, maybe your initial reaction
angry, we often use harsh words.
feelings being experienced by the should be one of agreement and
Harsh words can destroy friendship.
loved one. On the other hand, you sympathy. Then once you have
Since happiness arises in the
don’t want to reinforce or lend gained the person’s confidence, you
context of our relationships with
approval to that hatred. What can say, “But....”
others, if we destroy friendships,
might one say?
we undermine one of the very
conditions of happiness itself.