Page 3 - Self-Management_Lesson 2_Pre-Reading.docx

16 DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

may be circumstances in which anger is a perfectly reasonable emotional
response, but the key is to have control over it so that it can be channeled

into resolving the problem at hand.

Some people have a strong tendency to overstate in their own minds the

negative aspects of a particular situation – for example, fear of a meeting
with an important client. If you recognize this trait you should apply the

reflective cycle to such situations to ensure that you see them more
realistically.

3-Step process to improve
Self-control

Identify what you are feeling

Make an honest determination of the
underlying cause

Take action to break the cycle of negative
emotion

You can also use a simple three-step process to help improve your self-

control. This enables you to think logically about scenarios and determine
potential ways to deal with them. This goes a long way to diminishing your

fear or anger and raises your level of EQ self-management.

• Identify what you are feeling – this might simply be a strong

feeling over a missed deliverable, unease about a meeting, or
longer-term sentiments that there is something wrong with the

environment you are working in. Whatever the starting point you

will need to exercise self-awareness before you can start to do
something about it.

• Determine the underlying cause – this is a difficult step
because the process requires analysis, reflection, and honesty to

identify the cause. Is the sales person who has missed her target

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