Page 136 - The Love Hypothesis

to figure that one out. Except that maybe you just don’t want one. Maybe

you just want to be on your own, like everything about your behavior
suggests, and here I am, annoying the shit out of you. I should just pocket
my chips and my candy and go back to my stupid protein samples, but for

some reason you are so comfortable to be around. And I am drawn to you,
even though I don’t know why.

“Do you plan to stay in academia?” he asked. “After you graduate.”
“Yes. Maybe. No.”

He smiled, and Olive laughed.
“Undecided.”

“Right.”
“It’s just . . . there are things that I love about it. Being in the lab, doing
research. Coming up with study ideas, feeling that I’m doing something

meaningful. But if I go the academic route, then I’ll also need to do a lot of
other things that I just . . .” She shook her head.

“Other things?”
“Yeah. The PR stuff, mostly. Write grants and convince people to fund

my research. Network, which is a special kind of hell. Public speaking, or
even one-on-one situations where I have to impress people. That’s the

worst, actually. I hate it so much—my head explodes and I freeze and
everyone is looking at me ready to judge me and my tongue paralyzes and I
start wishing that I was dead and then that the world was dead and—” She

noticed his smile and gave him a rueful look. “You get the gist.”
“There are things you can do about that, if you want. It just takes

practice. Making sure your thoughts are organized. Stuff like that.”
“I know. And I try to do that—I did it before my meeting with Tom. And

I still stammered like an idiot when he asked me a simple question.” And
then you helped me, ordered my thoughts, and saved my ass, without even

meaning to. “I don’t know. Maybe my brain is broken.”
He shook his head. “You did great during that meeting with Tom,
especially considering that you were forced to have your fake boyfriend sit

next to you.” She didn’t point out that his presence had actually made things
better. “Tom certainly seemed impressed, which is no small feat. And if