Page 146 - Half Girlfriend

Industrial Revolution had taken place here, there would be Indian ex-

colonies around the world. White men would have had to learn Hindi
to get a decent job. White teachers would tell white men how to say
cow in Hindi with a perfect accent.

Verma sir interrupted my desi-invasion daydream.

’Yes, what is your name?’
‘Madhav, Madhav Jha, sir.’

‘Okay, Madhav, repeat after me: “I am fine, thank you”.’
‘I am fine, thank you,’ I said.

‘Good,’ he said.
After three years at Stephen’s, l wasn’t that hopeless. I could repeat

simple phrases. I wanted him to teach me how to give a speech.
Meanwhile, he moved on and corrected another student.

‘Faa-in. Not fane. Please open your mouth more.’
*

I spent the weekend in Patna. Apart from attending the classes, I

bought a book on confident public speaking from the Patna Railway
Station. I ate puri-aloo from a platform stall. The book recommended
practising English with random strangers, so one would feel less

ashamed if one made a mistake.

‘Excuse me, sir. Would you be kind enough to tell me if this is the
platform for the Kolkata Rajdhani Express?’

I practised this sentence on the station platform ten times. In many
cases, the passengers didn’t understand me. I moved towards the AC

compartments. Rich people usually know English.
‘I’m not sure. I suggest you ask the TC,’ said one bespectacled

man.
‘Was my English correct?’ I said.

‘Huh?’ he looked at me, surprised.
I explained my attempts at English practice. He patted my back.

‘You did fine,’ he said.
‘I’m trying,’ I said.‘Your English is so good. What do you do?’

‘I’m in software sales. I’m Sudhir.’ He extended his hand.