Page 209 - Half Girlfriend

I asked you to stay back last night. I had no right to. I just felt

greedy and selfish. I wanted more of your caring, while knowing I
couldn’t give you anything in return.
I know what I mean to you, and if I ask you to care without being

able to reciprocate myself you will. Hence, I decided to go. I won’t

make it harder for you than it needs to be.
I'm not one for details. Suffice to say, I have a little over three

months left. The last month is supposed to be horrible. I will skip the
gory parts. But trust me, you don’t want to know.

You have something meaningful going on in your life. Your school
is beautiful. And if Bill Gates does what I think he will, you will be

able to make it even better. If that happens, I don't want to be here
diverting your attention. I have seen your love. I don’t want to see

your pity. I am a basketball girl. That is how I want to stay in your
mind forever. Your basketball girl, I shall leave you with your school

and your mother. Meanwhile, in what little time I have, I plan to

travel everywhere I can. In the last month, I will find a corner for
myself in this world where I don’t bother anyone. Then I will go. You
know what? On my last day, I will think of you.

A good thing has come of my decision to leave here. I fed free

enough to tell you everything. I don’t have to hold back or say the
right thing anymore. For instance, it isn’t just you who had a

sleepless night at my place. I never slept either. I thought of how hard
it was going to be to leave you. Funny, I’ve never felt that way about

leaving this world. But leaving you, yes, that is difficult.
So, no crying. No looking for me. No being a Devdas. You are

such a good-looking and caring guy, you'll find a lovely girl.
Someone who isn’t a mess like me. Someone who will love you like you

deserve to be loved, I can’t wait for tomorrow. You will rock the stage.
I want to end this letter by saying something I wanted to say to at

least someone in this lifetime. So, here goes.
I love you, Madhav Jha. I absolutely, completely love you. And

will do so to my last day.