Page 148 - Leadership in the Indian Army

"Oh, it's true. I know it and I'm sorry for it, my love."

"Mammy?"

"Mm."

Laila sat up, looking down at Mammy. There were gray strands in

Mammy's hair now. And it startled Laila how much weight Mammy,

who'd always been plump, had lost. Her cheeks had a sallow, drawn

look. The blouse she was wearing drooped over her shoulders, and there
was a gaping space between her neck and the collar. More than once

Laila had seen the wedding band slide off Mammy's finger.

"I've been meaning to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"You wouldn't…" Laila began.

She'd talked about it to Hasina. At Hasina's suggestion, the two of them

had emptied the bottle of aspirin in the gutter, hidden the kitchen knives
and the sharp kebab skewers beneath the rug under the couch. Hasina

had found a rope in the yard. When Babi couldn't find his razors, Laila

had to tell him of her fears. He dropped on the edge of the couch, hands

between his knees. Laila waited for some kind of reassurance from him.
But all she got was a bewildered, hollow-eyed look.

"You wouldn't…Mammy I worry that-"

"I thought about it the night we got the news," Mammy said. "I won't lie

to you, I've thought about it since too. But, no. Don't worry, Laila. I want
to see my sons' dream come true. I want to see the day the Soviets go

home disgraced, the day the Mujahideen come to Kabul in victory. I want