Page 11 - Stephen R. Covey - The 7 Habits of Highly Eff People.pdf

long-term relationship they have, whether it is with a business associate, a spouse, a
friend, or a teenage child going through an identity crisis. It is character that
communicates most eloquently. As Emerson once put it, "What you are shouts so loudly
in my ears that I cannot hear what you say."

There are, of course, situations where people have character strength but they lack
communication skills, and that undoubtedly affects the quality of relationships as well.
But the effects are still secondary.

In the last analysis, what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say
or do. We all know it. There are people we trust absolutely because we know their
character. Whether they're eloquent or not, whether they have the human relations
techniques or not, we trust them, and we work successfully with them. In the words of
William George Jordan, "Into the hands of every individual is given a marvelous power
for good or evil -- the silent unconscious, unseen influence of his life. This is simply the
constant radiation of what man really is, not what he pretends to be."

The Power of a Paradigm

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People embody many of the fundamental principles
of human effectiveness. These habits are basic; they are primary. They represent the
internalization of correct principles upon which enduring happiness and success are
based.

But before we can really understand these Seven Habits TM, we need to understand our
own "paradigms" and how to make a "A Paradigm Shift TM."

Both the The Character Ethic The Personality Ethic are examples of social paradigms. The
word paradigm comes from the Greek. It was originally a scientific term, and is more
commonly used today to mean a model, theory, perception, assumption, or frame of
reference. In the more general sense, it's the way we "see" the world -- not in terms of our
visual sense of sight, but in terms of perceiving, understanding, and interpreting.

For our purposes, a simple way to understand paradigms is to see them as maps. We all
know that "the map is not the territory." A map is simply an explanation of certain
aspects of the territory. That's exactly what a paradigm is. It is a theory, an explanation,
or model of something else.
Suppose you wanted to arrive at a specific location in central Chicago. A street map of the
city would be a great help to you in reaching your destination. But suppose you were
given the wrong map. Through a printing error, the map labeled "Chicago" was actually a
map of Detroit. Can you imagine the frustration, the ineffectiveness of trying to reach
your destination?

You might work on your behavior -- you could try harder, being more diligent, doubling
your speed. But your efforts would only succeed in getting you to the wrong place faster.

You might work on your attitude -- you could think more positively. You still wouldn't
get to the right place, but perhaps you wouldn't care. Your attitude would be so positive,
you'd be happy wherever you were. The point is, you'd still be lost. The fundamental
problem has nothing to do with your behavior or your attitude. It has everything to do
with having a wrong map.

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