Page 69 - Stephen R. Covey - The 7 Habits of Highly Eff People.pdf

Because the church is a formal organization made up of policies, programs, practices, and
people, it cannot by itself give a person any deep, permanent security or sense of intrinsic
worth. Living the principles taught by the church can do this, but the organization alone
cannot.

Nor can the church give a person a constant sense of guidance. Church-centered people
often tend to live in compartments, acting and thinking and feeling in certain ways on the
Sabbath and in totally different ways on weekdays. Such a lack of wholeness or unity or
integrity is a further threat to security, creating the need for increased labeling and self-
justifying.

Seeing the church as an end rather than as a means to an end undermines a person's
wisdom and sense of balance. Although the church claims to teach people about the
source of power, it does not claim to be that power itself. It claims to be one vehicle
through which divine power can be channeled into man's nature.

Self-Centeredness. Perhaps the most common center today is the self. The most obvious
form is selfishness, which violates the values of most people. But if we look closely at
many of the popular approaches to growth and self-fulfillment, we often find self-
centering at their core.

There is little security, guidance, wisdom, or power in the limited center of self. Like the
Dead Sea in Palestine, it accepts but never gives. It becomes stagnant.

On the other hand, paying attention to the development of self in the greater perspective
of improving one's ability to serve, to produce, to contribute in meaningful ways, gives
context for dramatic increase in the four life-support factors

These are some of the more common centers from which people approach life. It is often
much easier to recognize the center in someone else's life than to see it in your own. You
probably know someone who puts making money ahead of everything else. You
probably know someone whose energy is devoted to justifying his or her position in an
ongoing negative relationship. If you look, you can sometimes see beyond behavior into
the center that creates it.

Identifying Your Center

But where do you stand? What is at the center of your own life? Sometimes that isn't easy
to see Perhaps the best way to identify your own center is to look closely at your life-
support factors. If you can identify with one or more of the descriptions below, you can
trace it back to the center from which it flows, a center which may be limiting your
personal effectiveness.

If you are Spouse Centered...

SECURITY

Your feelings of security are based on the way your spouse treats you.

You are highly vulnerable to the moods and feelings of your spouse.

There is deep disappointment resulting in withdrawal or conflict when your spouse
disagrees with you or does not meet your expectations.

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