Page 116 - Till the Last Breath . . .

‘Is that why you do this to yourself? Torture yourself to torture them?

Like you did when Kajal left you.’
‘Are you a psychiatrist now?’ he asked, and then moved on. ‘I don’t
know. Maybe. I just want them to feel sorry for what they did. Make them

feel that they lost me because of their behaviour. And yes, I do want them to
feel miserable.’

‘You’re destroying yourself to do that?’
‘I am not destroying myself … Well, maybe, I am. But I like my life. I

like doing what I do. It might have started out like that, but it’s no longer
that. I used to be bothered at first. Now, I don’t care that I don’t have a

family to go back to.’
Zarah was quiet. Dushyant knew his story forced people to consider their
previous judgments about him. He never had any illusions about his failures

in life or his detestable nature, but he knew he wasn’t the worst either. No
matter what he did, he knew he would always be better than his father. With

his eyes stuck firmly on her, he waited for Zarah to respond. People usually
did, expressing sympathy for him, and then moving on with their lives. At

the end of the day, he was a raging alcoholic and an addict who was meant
to be hated, not understood.

‘We should go back,’ Zarah said.
‘So soon? After all this, don’t you think I should know about you a little
too?’ he asked as he jumped down the ledge. Every bit of his body hurt. His

heart eased a bit now that he wasn’t gazing at a hundred-foot drop.
‘Maybe later.’

‘A little bit?’ he asked.
The inquisitive tone in Zarah’s voice had changed to a cold, professional

pitch. ‘Let’s get you into bed,’ Zarah said and led the way back to his room.
He followed soundlessly. She put him in bed, reattached the tubes and

screwed them back on.
‘If you keep sneaking out like this, you will take more time to get better,’
she whispered.

‘More nights like these and I won’t mind staying here a bit longer,’
Dushyant said and felt someone else had said it. He had just flirted with her.