Page 88 - You Only Live Once [BooksLD]
P. 88
were together. She must have realized it after I left.
I assert, ‘It is always one person who decides to move on in a
relationship.’
‘Yes. And why did you not move on?’
‘Did not feel the need to. If we hadn’t gotten married, we might have
broken up. If we had, we might have gotten divorced. And even if we had
decided to stay together forever, one of us would have died before the other.
But you are mine today. This today is forever. Nothing means forever like
the tiny moments in which we live a lifetime. I’m happy in this momentary
bond. I have felt forever so many times.’
‘Is one-sided love a bond?’
‘Yes. Some people keep loving without getting anything in return. Some
people keep loving getting a lot of hatred and disrespect in return. Love is a
messed up thing. Relationships are messy, aren’t they?’
‘Can a bond become bondage?’
‘Not for me. It has helped me become a better version of me.
Vulnerability is my strength. Intimacy impacts individuality. You can’t do
this. That. I am free from all that nonsense.’
Fit in or fly away. I choose the latter.
‘Strength and weakness are not separate from each other. What is
strength today could be a weakness on some other occasion, for some other
person.’
‘I can never win an argument with you.’ I laugh out loud.
‘I love that,’ she says.
‘And him,’ I add as I shrug and whisper underneath my breath. ‘I can
never be him. You can never be mine. But, I can still be myself, and there is
nothing better to be.’
‘Wake up, Ricky!’ I hear someone shouting in the background. I turn
back and the voice gets louder, but there is no one to be seen. Then, I see
Sheen. She’s panting and running towards me. ‘Ricky, you will be the death
of me. Why are you so careless and selfish?’
In a moment I realize that I am wide awake from a dream and not
standing but lying on the shore. The place is just about the same, except
there’s no Elisha to be seen.