Page 130 - In Five Years

Frederick shakes Dr. Shaw’s hand. “Thank you for everything. Finky speaks
very highly of you.”
“He taught me a lot of what I know. Excuse me.” He makes a move toward
the door and stops when he reaches me. “Could I speak to you in the hall?”

“Of course.”
The room has descended into caffeinated chaos, and no one notices Dr.

Shaw’s request or my exit.
“We’re going to try our best to get all of the tumor. We’ve categorized Bella’s
cancer at a stage three, but we really won’t know definitely until we take tissue
samples of the surrounding organs. And I know you raised a concern about an

omentectomy. We’re just not sure how far it has spread yet.”
“I understand,” I say. I feel a deep, wet cold creep from the hospital floor, up

my legs, and settle in my stomach.
“It’s possible we may need to remove a portion of Bella’s colon as well.” Dr.
Shaw looks to Bella’s door and back at me. “You are aware that you are listed as

Bella’s next of kin?”
“I am?”
“You are,” he says. “I know her parents are here, but I wanted you to be made

aware, too.”
“Thank you.”
Dr. Shaw nods. He turns to leave.

“How bad is it?” I ask him. “I know you can’t tell me that. But if you could—
how bad is it?”
He looks at me. He looks like he really would like to answer. “We’re going to

do everything we can,” he says. And then he’s striding toward the operating
room doors.

They wheel Bella into surgery with little fanfare. She is stoic. She kisses Jill and
Frederick and Aaron, who Jill has clearly taken to. A little too much. She keeps

finding excuses to grab his forearm. Once, Bella looks at me and rolls her eyes.
It feels like a candle in the darkness.
“You’re going to be great,” I tell her. I bend over her. I kiss her forehead. She

reaches up and grabs my hand. And then let’s go just as abruptly.