Page 137 - In Five Years

It’s creeping toward late afternoon when I see Dr. Shaw walking through the
double doors. My heart leaps up into my ears. I hear the pounding, like gongs.
I stand up, but I do not run across the room to him. It’s strange the social
normalcies we hold strong to, even in the midst of extraordinary circumstances.

The rules we are unwilling to break.
Dr. Shaw looks tired, far older than his age, which I’d put around forty.

“Everything went well,” he says. I feel relief course through my body right
along with my blood. “She’s out and recovering. We were able to get all the
tumor and any cancer cells to the best of our ability.”
“Thank god,” Jill says.

“She has a long road ahead of her, but today went well.”
“Can we see her?” I ask.

“She’s been through a lot. One visitor for now. Someone from my team will
come over to take you back and answer any further questions.”
“Thank you,” I say. I shake his hand. So do Frederick and Jill. Aaron is still

sitting. When I look back at him, I see that he is crying. He holds the back of his
hand against his face, swallowing his sobs.
“Hey,” I say. “You should go.”

Jill looks at me but doesn’t say anything. I know Bella’s parents. I know
being with her in the recovery room, unchaperoned, scares them. They don’t
want to make decisions about her care, not really. And so I will. I always have.

“No,” he says. He shuffles his hands in front of his face, diverting attention.
“You should go.”
“She’ll want to see you,” I tell him.

I imagine Bella waking up in a bed. In pain, confused. Whose face does she
want hovering above hers? Whose hand does she want to hold? Somehow, I
know that it’s his.

A nurse comes back. She wears bright pink scrubs and has a stuffed koala
clinging to the pocket of her shirt. “Are you the family of Bella Gold?”
I nod. “This is her husband,” I lie. I’m not sure what the rule is for

boyfriends. “He’d like to go back.”
“I’ll take you,” she says.
I watch them disappear down the hallway. It’s not until they’re gone, and Jill

and Frederick are cornering me, asking questions, demanding we get the nurse