Page 174 - In Five Years

“I’m going to ask you something,” she says. “And if I’m wrong, you don’t
have to answer.”
I feel my heart rate accelerate. What if . . . ? She couldn’t . . .
“I know you think we’re really different, and we are, I get that. I’ll never be

someone who checks my weather app before I go outside or knows the number
of days eggs can last in the fridge. I haven’t strategically built my life the way

you have. But you’re wrong in thinking . . .” She wets her lips. “I think you’re
capable of this kind of love, too. And I don’t think you have it.”
I let that sit between us for a moment. “What’s making you say that?” I ask
her.

“Don’t you think there’s a reason you never got married? Don’t you think
there’s a reason you’ve been engaged for almost five years? A five-year

engagement was never in your plan.”
“We’re getting married now,” I say.
“Because,” Bella says. Her voice gets small. She seems to fold into herself

next to me. “You think you’re on a clock.”
December 15.
“That’s not true. I love David.”

“I know you do,” she says. “But you’re not in love with him. You may have
been at first, but if you were I never really saw it, and I don’t have the luxury of
pretending anymore. And what I realized is that you don’t, either. If there’s a

clock ticking toward anything, it should be your happiness.”
“Bella . . .” I feel something rise in my chest. And then it’s tumbling out onto
the duvet between us. “I’m not sure I’m capable of it,” I tell her. “Not the kind

you mean.”
“But you are,” she says. “I wish you knew that. I wish you understood that
you could have love beyond your wildest dreams. Stuff movies are made of.

You’re meant for that, too.”
“I don’t think I am.”
“You are. You know how I know?”

I shake my head.
“Because that’s the way you love me.”
“Bella,” I say. “Listen to me. You’re going to be fine. People do this all the

time. They defy the odds. Every damn day.”