Page 56 - In Five Years

“I don’t know,” I say. “I just didn’t. But I know it’s him, and he’s now dating
my best friend.”
Dr. Christine looks at her notes. “Bella.”
I nod, although I don’t remember talking about her. I must have.

“She’s very important to you.”
“Yes.”

“And you feel guilty now.”
“Well, technically, I haven’t done anything wrong.”
She squints at me. I put a fist to my forehead and hold it there.
“You mentioned you’re engaged,” she says. “To the same man you were with

when we last spoke?”
“Yes.”

“It has been over four years since I saw you. Do you have plans to get
married?”
“Some couples decide not to.”

She nods. “Is that what you and David have decided?”
“Look,” I say. “I just want to make sure this doesn’t happen again, or happen
at all. That’s why I’m here.”

Dr. Christine sits back as if creating more space between us. A pathway to the
door, maybe.
“Dannie,” she says. “I think something is going on that you don’t understand,

and that is frightening to you, as someone whose actual job it is to discover and
prove causality.”
“Causality,” I repeat.

“If I do this, I’ll get this result.” She holds out her hands like a weighted
Grecian scale. “This experience does not fit in your life, you have not taken any
steps to have it, and yet here it is.”

“Well, right,” I say. “That’s why I need it to not be.”
“And how do you propose you do that?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “That’s kind of why I’m here.”

Predictably, our time is up.