Page 53 - 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself

physicist Isidor Isaac Rabi, who won a Nobel Prize for inventing a technique that

permitted scientists to probe the structure of atoms and molecules in the 1930s.
Rabi attributed his success in physics to the way his mother used to greet him
when he came home from school each day: “Did you ask any good questions
today, Isaac?”

By asking questions in your relationships, you are already creating the
relationship, and you are already self-motivated. You don’t have to wait for the
other person to make it happen.

37. Make a relation-shift

Motivate yourself by giving someone else the ideas necessary for self-
motivation. You can have any experience you want in life simply by giving that
experience away to someone else. John Lennon called it “instant karma.” In
most of our relationships we stay focused on ourselves. We’re fascinated by how
we’re coming off. We’re constantly monitoring what others must now be
thinking of us. We live as if mirrors surrounded us.

Norman Vincent Peale used to observe that shy people were the greatest
egomaniacs on earth, because they were so focused on themselves. You can see
that when you observe the body language of a shy person. The looking down and
turning in. The curling-up with self-consciousness—as if surrounded by mirrors.

When we shift our focus to the other person in the relationship, something
paradoxically powerful happens. By forgetting ourselves we start to grow. I have
developed an entire seminar around this one shift. It is called “Relation-Shift.”

Spencer Johnson, author of The One-Minute Sales Person, calls it “the
wonderful paradox: I have more fun, and enjoy more financial success, when I
stop trying to get what I want and start helping other people get what they want.”

If you want to be motivated, shift your inspiration to someone else. Point out
the strengths of the other individual to him or her. Offer encouragement and
support. Offer guidance in his or her own self-motivation. Watch what it does
for you.

38. Learn to come from behind