Page 172 - The Social Animal

154 The Social Animal

the client. Here’s how it might come about: Suppose a therapist holds
the theory that certain fears or personality characteristics (e.g., low
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self-esteem, fear of being alone in the dark, fear of losing control) are
symptomatic of having been sexually abused. Into his or her office
comes a person with some of these characteristics. Over the course of
the therapy, with the best of intentions, the therapist might subtly sug-
gest that these events might have taken place. The therapist might
then invite the client to try to remember such instances and might un-
wittingly show increased interest—even excitement—when the client
begins to explore these possibilities. Under these conditions, the client
may begin to construct a coherent set of memories that may nonethe-
less be totally false.
Accordingly, memory researchers have criticized some self-help
books—books that attempt to guide people to uncover dark secrets
from their early childhood—on the grounds that the authors often
grossly underestimate the power of suggestion and unwittingly lead
people to recover false memories. For example, one best-selling self-
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help book actually encourages people to spend time trying to re-
construct their childhood story and goes on to list a variety of
possible thoughts that allegedly are related to abuse. Here is a par-
tial list; it is introduced in the following manner:

There are common characteristics that exist in families where
abuse takes place. You may not have experienced all of them,
but you probably experienced several.

“I felt ashamed of my family.”
“There were things I couldn’t talk about.”
“There were always a lot of secrets in my family.”
“Along with the bad things, there was a lot of good in my
family.”
“At least one of my parents took drugs or drank a lot.”
“I was often humiliated and put down.”
“A lot of my basic needs weren’t taken care of.”
“Things were chaotic and unpredictable in my household.”
“There were a lot of broken promises.”
“I’m not sure if I was abused, but when I hear about sexual
abuse and its effects, it all sounds creepy and familiar.”