Page 4 - HEF Pen & Ink 2020

INSTANT COFFEE, INSTANT REGRET
by Grace Taylor
SATIRE ESSAY
by Aleigha Rosencrans-Drynan
In the words of Marie Jenney Howe, “Please do not think of me as old fashioned.” However, I stick with the boomers and not the zoomers on this “hot topic.” To believe in foolish, phony ideas such as global warming is idiotic and plain distrubing.
world is doing its normal cycle of spring, summer, fall, and winter.
The thought of our beloved world being swallowed up in raging hot fire is terrifying, but the good news is, it won't. The world is fine and global warming is not real. It was made up to scare older generations into submitting to the under-loved, low self-esteemed kids who need desperate approval.
Reason two is for the people of science: basic water displacement. One of the main proofs of glob- al warming is rising sea levels. They say it’s due to melting ice caps and the expansion of seawater water when it’s warm. But the real reason is due simply to the rising population of people in this world. As the number of people are born the more people are in the ocean wanting to enjoy the water and swim with the dolphins. As more and more people are in the water the more the water will rise due to water displace- ment. It is standard science knowledge, it is normal and happens all the time. This leads me to believe that global warming is not something of importance.
If it were real, wouldn’t the government at- tempt to solve it? Wouldn’t people like Greta Thun- derbolt come up with real ideas to stop this instead of screaming “How dare you” and insulting our country’s finest leaders? I have not seen any of this happen, so therefore it is not a problem that we need to worry ourselves sick over.
Not only has it not been properly addressed but there are many, many other reasons why our Earth is not going to boil into a pot of melted land.
In case one reason is too real for you I have provided multiple others to show you how fake global warming is.
Reason one is plain and simple: snow. Living in a place like Montana just shows how cold it is. I mean, in December 2019, in the middle of this long debate about a fake concept, Montana had several snow storms. Even Canada had a cold winter. If it was really so hot and our Earth was boiling could mother nature really produce a cold white powder that causes people to shiver and chatter our teeth? No, the weather outside is not at all frightful as the
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