Page 21 - Jewish News_March-2020

JEWISH INTEREST March 2020 21A

Aging Jewishly – What our traditions teach us about growing old

How grandparents can share their heritage

with secular or interfaith Jewish grandchildren

By Rabbi Barbara Aiello
“ ’m afraid to interfere,” said Mag- perspective to encourage Jewish grand- mini-museum, making sure that it is mind, have your grandchildren help
da, grandmother to interfaith parents to share their heritage with the eye-level for the little ones. Ask your you organize the Seder by creating in-
Itwin girls whose Jewish son and grandkids. Jewish son or daughter if he/she would dividual Seder plates, matzah covers or
Methodist daughter-in-law are raising Where to begin? First, some like to contribute a personal item to the book covers for the Haggadah.
their daughters in both faiths. Magda’s ground rules. Ancient Jewish practice “museum,” as well. When the grand- Chanukah ranks as the second
friend “Zayde” Nathan shares her con- dictates that we Jews do not prosely- children visit, show them their family most popular Jewish holiday, even
cerns. Nathan says, “My grandson is tize, meaning that we don’t actively try museum, let them explore, touch and more special because it has its own
almost 10 and I haven’t brought up the to convert others to become Jews. This ask questions. Personalize the items. unique interfaith meaning. Kindling
Jewish thing. His parents are atheists rule applies to our grandchildren too. “This is my father’s tallit and these the candles and placing the lighted me-
and refer to them- Depending on your family’s Jewish de- were my mother’s Shabbat candle- norah in the window demonstrates the
selves as cultural nomination, you may already consider sticks.” Or if these items are no longer basic tenet of the festival – religious
Jews, but they that your grandchildren are Jewish, but accessible, adapt. “This is a tallit like freedom. An interfaith or secular fam-
don’t do anything modern life demonstrates that Jewish- my father wore and these are candle- ily is an example of religious tolerance

Jewish. I won’t ness is less about bloodline and more sticks just like my mother had for Shab- and appreciation of differences. Mak-
be here forever. I about day-to-day behavior. bat.” Before each visit add an item or ing or buying individual Chanukah
want my grand- Respect is also key. You may not two and ask your grandchild if she can menorahs for each family member can
son to know agree with the religious climate (or lack find what’s new in the mini-museum. add to the enjoyment.

about his Jewish of it) in your grandkids’ home, but if When the kids are familiar with the UK’s Rabbi Gideon Sylvester
roots.” you adopt an attitude that demonstrates items, organize a scavenger hunt to puts it well when he discusses teach-
Rabbi Barbara Aiello With a U.S. respect for their choices, interfaith and foster a personal hands-on relationship ing about Judaism to anyone, Jewish
intermarriage rate at nearly 60%, and secular parents may be more open to with your family’s Jewish treasures. or not (Jewish Chronicle 2010). Rabbi
with more than 30% of Jews self-iden- grandparents’ sharing family history Nothin’ says lovin’ Sylvester references the Torah where it
tifying as non-observant or secular, with their children. like Jewish cooking says, “Keep my commandments which
it seems that Grandma Magda’s and The grandkids may understand that If you are able to spend time with your a person should perform and through
Zayde Nathan’s concerns are not mom or dad is Jewish, but it’s possible grandchildren, create a cooking school which they will gain eternal life” (Le-
unique. For more than one third of that they have had no experience with experience. Use family recipes for bris- viticus 18: 5). The verse makes no dis-
American Jewish families, issues re- the history and traditions of the Jew- ket, latkes, kugel or blintzes, and teach tinction between Jews and non-Jews.
garding how and when to share Jew- ish people. That’s where the grandpar- the grandkids how to become chefs Torah is there for everyone, including

ish traditions are a sensitive part of the ents come in. As bearers of the flame, in Bubby’s Jewish Cooking School. our interfaith and secular grandkids.
grandparenting experience. grandparents are the family members While you’re creating, be sure to share Rabbi Barbara Aiello is the fi rst non-
One of the first to describe the joys who give the youngest generation a family memories of how, when and Orthodox rabbi and fi rst woman rabbi

and challenges facing interfaith grand- sense of their history. Grandparents why these Jewish foods were eaten. in Italy. She is the spiritual leader of
parents was author Sunie Levin. In her can play an important role in helping Invite the parents to sample the feast. the fi rst active synagogue in southern
groundbreaking book, Mingled Roots their grandkids appreciate who they Jewish holidays Italy since Inquisition times, founder
– A Guide for Jewish Grandparents are and where they come from. Passover is the Jewish holiday cel- of Italy’s Pluralistic Jewish move-
of Interfaith Children (UAHC Press, Here are some things you can do: ebrated by more Jews than any other. ment, and a mentoring rabbi for Dar-
2003), Levin shares her personal expe- The mini-museum Regardless of Jewish persuasion, the shan Yeshiva’s conversion program.
riences with the topic. Create a Jewish corner in your own Passover Seder (traditional meal with She is a vice president of Kulanu, an
As a rabbi who supports intermar- home. Shine the Chanukah menorah symbolic foods, prayers and stories) international Jewish organization that
riage and the uniquely rich trove of and buy some Shabbat candles. Find has brought more Yiddishkeit to in- supports Jewish diversity worldwide.
traditions that characterizes so many the family Kiddush cup and great- terfaith and secular families than any Contact Rabbi Aiello at rabbi@rabbi-
interfaith families, I’ve applied Levin’s grandpa’s tallit. Select a spot for your other holiday experience. With this in barbara.com.

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