Page 20 - Life is a Fight for Territory

As we discussed in the last chapter, no one really likes change. Particularly change that happens to you, as opposed to change that you choose and drive yourself.
There’s a certain dynamic to any club or group and the homeostasis is maintained by everyone doing and being the same. If someone goes and changes, it ruins it for everyone else!
This is especially true of a ‘negative’ type group – smoking, partying and irresponsible behavior, drug use, etc. If you change your life and stop going to the club every weekend you are, in essence, reminding your friends at the club that maybe they really shouldn’t be living like this anymore. Worse yet, you’re saying that you have the courage to change and they don’t. Now things are awkward and they have a decision to make. They have to justify their choice to stay right where they are, and very often they do this by bashing you and your noble attempt at a better life!
“Who do you think you are anyway? So, you’re better than us now?”
We don’t like change. And we don’t like feeling bad about ourselves, so we will go to ridiculous extents to justify our thoughts, feelings and actions.
What does this mean for our quest for success? It means that if you are going to change then you have to be ready for everything to change. Don’t worry, it’s a good thing, but being aware in advance is the antidote you need, because it hurts when people don’t do what you expect them to.
If you think about this, it means that people you love as well as
those you are indifferent about, will try and keep you stuck
where you are, consciously or often unconsciously, because they
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