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Publisher’s Note
Publisher’s Note

You Want a What?

Did you know that the definition
of millstone is a heavy burden
a.k.a. “an elliptical machine?” Yes,
I’m kidding, but haven’t we all been
there?
As I may have said a million
times or more, Carol is the family
Scrooge. Before I even open my
mouth, she’ll usually say a) we
can’t afford it; b) we don’t need it;
or c) are you completely nuts? And
as much as I hate to admit it, she’s
usually right. I do tend to “need”
things rather impulsively and have
trouble justifying need vs. want.
But today, the shoe was definitely
on the other foot. First let me say, it’s our 46th wedding anniversary. So
yes, we truly are the original Mr. and Mrs. T-Rex, still married after all
these years. Our longevity is easily attributed to the fact that we’re both
basically too lazy for the angst of divorce, too comfortable in our own rela-
tively undemanding roles, not to mention the fight over our dog Gabby
would be a bloodbath with no survivors.
But back to the elliptical … which Carol thinks is a perfect gift to each
other for our anniversary. Of course, my first reaction is blind panic (and
an aching back.) I quickly segue into it’s too heavy and we don’t have
space. But once again she’s 5 steps ahead, reeling off the machine’s dimen-
sions and the empty space in our bedroom’s corner. So while I’m usually at
the head of the line when it comes to a purchase with an on/off switch,
Carol is the lead dog this time. As she’s pointed out, rather graphically I
might add, we could both use to drop a few pounds … especially if we’d
like to see anniversary #47.
And so fast forward 48 hours later, the ellipti-
cal is in a prime TV viewing spot and Carol is
accruing some serious mileage. Unfortunately,
yours truly is in bed with a heating pad
attached to his lower back. I guess the
moral of the story is you need the elliptical
to get into good enough shape to get the
damn machine into your house.

Charles Felix

You can reach Charles Felix at
Charles@southfloridahospitalnews.com

2 November 2017 southfloridahospitalnews.com South Florida Hospital News