Page 279 - Wordsmith A Guide to College Writing

Paragraph A

The singer looked as if he had just stepped out of the 1960s. His
hair, twisted into thick dreadlocks, fell almost to his shoulders. On

his feet were chunky leather sandals. A small golden ring pierced his

left nostril. His hands, clasped around the microphone in front of

his chest, were ringed in silver and turquoise. He wore a faded pair

of jeans that flared into a wide bell over his ankles. Over his
shirt, he wore a soft leather vest that ended at his waist in a

beaded fringe. His shirt, open at the neck, revealed a silver and

turquoise necklace. He wore a small golden earring in one ear. He

looked as though he belonged on a Woodstock poster.

Paragraph B

The model walking down the runway looked like a movie actress from

the 1940s. Her hair curved under just above her shoulders and dipped

across one eye as she turned her head. Her eyebrows were arched and
penciled, and her lipstick was a deep red. The jacket of her gray

pinstriped suit was padded at the shoulders and nipped in at the

waist. Her skirt hugged her hips and legs tightly and flared below

the knee. She wore dark stockings with seams up the back and stiletto

heels that looked impossible to walk in. She looked as though she had
stepped out of an old black-and-white movie.

The paragraph that uses spatial order more effectively is paragraph

.