Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #600

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Ontario Premier Tells Residents: 'Don't Be Pooping on the Beach'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmc7ujltHMQ
By Ben Hooper
Aug. 8 (UPI) -- Ontario Premier Doug Ford made a request of the province's citizens: "Folks, don't be pooping on the beach."
Ford, speaking to reporters in Mississauga on Wednesday, was asked about rumors on social media that visitors to Wasaga Beach have been using tents to hide the fact that they are defecating into holes in the sand.
"Folks, don't be pooping on the beach. It's as sim- ple as that," the Toronto Star quoted Ford as say- ing.
Ford pointed out that the province had recently given the Town of Wasaga
Beach more than $700,000 to build new bathrooms on the beach.
"I have no proof that peo- ple are pooping in the park per se, but it's pretty bad if they are," Ford said.
Wasaga Beach
Mayor Brian Smith more forcefully denied the alle- gations last month, saying the rumors "lack evidence and promote misinforma- tion."
"The town has received no evidence -- from residents, visitors or the Ontario gov- ernment -- to verify that any undesirable, unsani- tary behavior has occurred on the beach areas that make up Wasaga Beach Provincial Park," Smith said.
A woman had bought lots of shoes over time and she decided it was time to kick the habit. She really took it seri- ously, even changing her driv- ing route to avoid her favorite shoe store. One evening, however, she arrived home carrying a shoe box. Her husband grinned at her, but it didn't faze her at all.
"These are very special shoes," she explained. "I accidentally drove by the shoe store and there in the window were the most perfect shoes I've ever seen! I felt this was no accident, so I thought I'd let fate decide. If I would get a park- ing spot directly in front of the shop, the shoes were meant for me. And sure enough, the eighth time around the block, there it was!"
“Oh no, not left- overs again!” complained my older sister when she saw the left- over meatloaf on the table from last night's supper.
“Young lady,” responded my father sternly, “do you know how many people would love to have a delicious supper like this? You should be ashamed of your- self. Now before we start eating I want to hear you say grace thank- ing the Lord for this delicious meal.”
“Thank you Lord for this delicious supper,” muttered my sister submis- sively, “....again!”
Murphy and his wife went for a stroll in the park. They sit down on a bench to rest for awhile. Soon they overhear voices coming from a secluded spot nearby.
Suddenly, Mrs. Murphy realizes that a young man is about to pro- pose. Not wanting to be eavesdrop- ping during such an intimate moment, she gen- tly nudges her husband and whispers, "Whistle, to let that young couple know that some-
one can hear them."
To which Murphy replies, "Whistle? Why should I whistle? Nobody whistled to warn me?"
Sarah was read- ing a newspaper, while her hus- band was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laugh- ing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classi- fied ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a sea- son ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."
"Season's almost half over," he said.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine