Page 16 - IAV Digital Magazine #382
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The only true FREE CLASSIFIEDS in the Antelope Valley... Where buyers and sellers meet!
sec • 947-9338382
ROOM FOR
REnT
Trailer for rent for 1 person, female preferred, self con- tained. Has everything • 485-9592386
Furnished room, quiet, near bus line & shops. No alco- hol & drugs. Prefer 50yrs & older • 974-5185386
W. Lancaster: Huge master bedroom w/ own private bath. Close to all, nice area,
paid utilities $700 • 818- 448-9829386
W. Lancaster: Private room w/ own bath, close to all, nice area. $500, paid utili- ties • 818-448-9829386
CalCity: Must have car, rent negotiable • 350-7501386
FREE room in exchange for cooking, cleaning & part time relief care giver. Must pass LiveScan for possible full time w/ pay. Female • 789-8729385
W. Lancaster: $550+$100dep. Pd utilities. Masterbedroom w/ private bath, walk-in closet, fur- nished, full privileges. Internet, pool & jacuzzi. No pets, smoking or drugs • 718-2020385
E. Lancaster: Shared bath, $400/mo + 1/3 utilities. Wifi, plenty of treet parking • 483-4529385
W. Palmdale: Single per- son, No drugs or alcohol $450 • 265-8178382
Real Estate Humor
A property manager for an apartment com- plex dies and soon finds himself standing in front of St. Peter. St. Peter tells him "You have a choice of going to heaven or to hell and I suggest you check them both out before deciding." So he chooses to check out hell first.
He goes down to hell and finds himself in the middle of the biggest party he has ever seen. People are dancing and drinking and doing the limbo (and nobody's doing the Macarena!). Everyone is laughing and having a great time.
Next St. Peter takes him up to heaven to look around.
Everything is white and pristine. People are speaking softly about philosophy and mathematical formu-
las. Others are simply contemplative and serene. He's bored in about five minutes. St.
Peter then says to the apartment manager, "I want you to sleep on it and meet me back here in the morning to let me know your deci- sion."
The next morning he comes back and says to St. Peter, "Heaven is very nice and all, but hell looks great, so I've decided that I want to go to hell".
So St. Peter puts him on the escalator down to hell.
When he gets there he sees Satan whip- ping people and there's fire everywhere and everyone is screaming in pain.
So he goes over to Satan and says "Hey, what gives here?
Yesterday I came here to check the place out and everyone had me partying and it looked like a great time. What happened?"
Satan looks at him and says "You used to be a property manag- er so you ought to know the answer to your own question.
Yesterday you were a prospect.
Today you're just another resident!"
How can you know if your bank is hurting from the mortgage cri- sis?
You try to cash a check and they tell you to come back with a gun!
What is the definition of a good real estate agent? Someone who has a mortgage loop- hole named after him.
ANTELOPE VALLEY FREE CLASSIFIEDS
661-266-4-ADS
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