Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #629

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Dogs In Chernobyl Exclusion Zone Mysteriously Turn Blue
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6K36aYQ2eU
By Ben Hooper
Oct. 29 (UPI) -- A nonprofit taking care of dogs in Ukraine's Chernobyl exclu- sion zone are trying to solve the mystery of why some of the canines have turned "completely blue."
Dogs of Chernobyl, which is affiliated with the Clean Futures Fund charity, said workers were out trying to trap dogs to be spayed and neutered in the Chernobyl area recently when they spotted the unusually colored canines.
"We are on the ground now catching dogs for sterilization, and we came across three dogs that were completely blue," the Clean Futures Fund
said in an Instagram post. "We are not sure exactly what is going on."
Local residents said the dogs had not been blue one week earlier.
The approximately 700 dogs living in the Chernobyl exclusion
zone are descendants
of the pets abandoned when the area was evacu- ated during the nuclear power plant meltdown in 1986.
The Clean Futures Fund said the blue color is unlikely to be a result of any radioactivity.
"Most likely they're getting into some sort of chemi- cal," such as the blue liq- uid from a leaking portable toilet, the charity said.
Officials said the dogs appear healthy and active despite their unusual color. Workers are continuing to attempt to capture the blue dogs in the hopes of finding an answer to the mystery.
Why did the quantum comput- er break up with the classical com- puter? Because every time it tried to commit to a single state, the classical one kept asking, “Are you 0 or 1 today?” and the quantum one screamed, “I’m BOTH, Karen, superposi- tionally entangled with your mom’s router!”
I asked my smart fridge for relation- ship advice. It said, “You leave me open too long, everything spoils, and you only want me when you’re drunk at 2 a.m. looking for leftover pizza.” Then it locked itself and played sad lo-fi beats. Now I’m dating the microwave— it’s hotter and fin- ishes in 30 sec- onds.
My therapist said I have a fear of commitment. I said, “That’s a 12- session package lie.” She said, “Fine, pay-per- session.” I ghost- ed her, married her billing app, and now we auto-
renew annually with no escape clause. Turns out the app is my fear of commitment—it charges extra to cancel.
Picture this: a hyper-intelligent goldfish named Sir Bubbles McGee III runs for mayor of Atlantis (the underwater one, not the casi- no). His campaign slogan is “More Plankton, Less Tyranny!” He promises free castle upgrades, algae-flavored snow cones on every coral cor- ner, and a 24/7 bubble-wrap recy- cling program that turns pop sounds into renewable energy. Debates are held inside a giant conch shell amphitheater; his opponent, a grumpy octopus accountant, keeps yelling, “Show me the krill-cords!” Sir Bubbles responds by doing 47 back- flips while reciting tax code in dol- phin clicks, then projectile-spits a pearl the size of a bowling ball that ricochets off the octopus’s glasses
and spells “VOTE BUBBLES” in mid-water cur- sive. Election night, the results come in via biolu- minescent squid ticker tape: 99% victory (the 1% abstained because they were napping in a sponge). On inau- guration day, he rides a seahorse- drawn chariot made of recycled plastic six-pack rings, swears oath on a water- proof copy of “Finding Nemo,” and immediately passes the “Universal Castle Moat Jacuzzi Act.” Crime drops 300% because everyone’s too relaxed in bub- bling hot tubs to steal. His only scandal: caught smuggling extra krill snacks into the retirement kelp forest. He resigns honorably, opens a chain of underwater come- dy clubs called “The Giggle Gill,” and every punch- line is delivered via synchronized bubble rings that pop into cartoon faces.
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