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12 5IVE- O M agazine| F eb 2018 5IVE- O M agazine | F eb 2018 13
What’s It Really Like To Find Out
Your Husband Is Gay "Yesterday, Jeff and I told three most incredible kids look back and I underesti-
our children that we are
mated the importance of
we could ask for.
divorcing, after more than what it was. I was so pre-
17 years of marriage and “Love is love is love is occupied. He made many
23 years of togetherness. love...” sacrifices to support me.
We also told them that the But this one vital part of
impetus fort he divorce is Now she’s answering some our marriage was missing
the fact that Jeff is gay,” deeper questions, like
she wrote on her site. how long she knew Jeff ’s He was supportive for the
secret, and what sex and most part, my blog, my
Without getting into too dating are like post-split books. When you’re in the
much personal detail, (hint, it’s really fun.) trenches of little kids, it’s
this is a reality which easy to just try to work
we have faced together PS: You met your husband together.
for many years. And for Jeff when you were 18.
a very long time, the When did you get an So, why now?
deep love we had for inkling that he was maybe
one another sustained us gay? Well, we ran out of
through the more difficult excuses as to why not
moments that our increas- Jill: We met at 1 8, now? How long are we
ingly diverging sexuality married at 20, kids at 23. going to keep doing this
created.” I was several years later for? I’m turning 40 this
he told me he thought summer. I always worried
Jill adds that the two have he was bisexual. But it that we’d be 60 and had’
been inseparable for more was the last five or so he
than half their lives, and felt it had evolved to the Come to me and say, ‘’I’m
are proud of the family point where he no longer in love with a man,” so I
they have built together. identified as bi and could feel very relieved that we
They now live 1 0 minutes be gay. actually did it.
Now the two, who met apart and share their kids’
at 18, married at 20, pick up schedule from Were you trying to work it
and share three kids school. out all those years?
together, are divorc- I knew the situation, but
ing. But Jill is in a “We have been true part- Obviously, we were, are, for 15 years we’ve been
good place, and in her ners and friends; we are a I feel we are soul mates, not telling anyone, it’s
hysterical style, she kick ass team,” she writes. he’s my favorite person, affected my relationships.
explains to Personal S “And while we will no we’re a reaIIy good team, I feel so amazing now. I
pace what the process longer love each other as we’re super invested in think I knew that for the
of divorcing your gay husband and as wife, we the kids. He’s my favor- past 1 0 year.
husband is like. remain deeply committed ite person. It was always
to one another as part- sort of every other area
ners and co-parents to the in my life was good. Now
that I’m out of it I can Story by: Warren o ‘grant
