Page 37 - Too Smart Dog

Worksheet
This is a complex and adult situation even though the story may be cute. Throughout your life, others will want, if not demand, that you do things you know you should refuse. This is not like parents asking children to clean a room or teachers expected homework to be completed. In this story, we are talking about unreasonable “Stinky Thinking” demands.
For a child, an example of this can be a friend who does not want you to associate with another student because they don’t like the other student. They may threaten to not be your friend if you talk with or sit by the other student. This is typical childish behavior but the inability to say “NO” to such a demand is indicative of “Not doing what is in your best self-interest.”
It is not important that the “demanding” friend is the most popular child in the class or that the other child is the least popular. It is about being able to “have character” and be strong enough to do the “right thing”. In the language we use in Coping Skills, it is about using your Good Thinking to manage your OK Emotions and engage in Thumbs Up Behaviors. “I choose who to sit with at lunch and if for some reason you have a problem with that, I am sorry you feel that way but I won’t change.” The questions point out that the thinking of the lord was “Stinky.” But real significant learning occurs with questions 2 and 3 and the recognition of the negative response we should expect when “you refuse to do what they request.”
Use this opportunity to help them anticipate the anger of others and to verbalize some good coping self-messages to deal with these negative responses. It is this repertory of coping self-messages that will help them be strong in the face of negative responses from others. We “give in” not because we do not know what we should do or say but because we fail to have adequate “armor” of coping self-messages. This is a very difficult skill to develop and one that will need support and practice.
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