Page 38 - G-Collard Green Garden

PARENT NOTES COLLARD GREEN GARDEN
TOPIC: Peer Pressure comes in many varia ons and you must learn how to deal with it or others will be able to control you.
The “Cosmos Explains” (ra onale) of the Collard Green Garden starts by explaining manipula on and the term, Peer Pressure. Your children may be familiar with the idea but the Story, Ra onale and Exercise are designed to give them a greater understanding of and apprecia on for the consequences of manipula on.
Be sure that they understand that manipula on and (nega ve) peer pressure have to do with trying to in uence you into doing or not doing something against your best self-interest. We are o en trying to in uence others into doing things they don’t want to do but are in their best self-interest. No one wants to study, exercise or diet and when we try to in uence them, it may be technically manipula on but not in the sense it is used in this story, because we are ac ng in their best interest.
The rst character, the Rabbit, manipulates with guilt. O en, it is the more emo onally sensi ve and empathe c child who can fall vic m to this type of manipula on.
It is alright to be concerned and even helpful but when doing so puts you in a posi on of harm, (for example, le ng someone copy o your test or giving away your lunch money) it is quite possible that this has become manipula on.
Many adult substance abusers use “guilt manipula on” to have others cover for them at work and nance their substance abuse. It is a style of manipula on that if confronted in young children could be eliminated.
A poten al problem with the person, who is easily manipulated by the “guilt” style, is that they will overreact once they realize it is occurring. They may now see any concern or empathy for another as se ng themselves up to be taken advantage of and see their noble characteris c as a weakness.
They may become bi er and mean spirited as a reac on to this type of manipula on. To avoid this over reac on, teach your children to recognize real need and reac ng appropriately, while maintaining their own best self interests and thus feel “OK” when they reject guilt manipulation.
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