Page 57 - flip book- How To Survive Baby Loss

The Why, the Reason and Faith

birth, I received a picture from God that I thought was for my
“natural homebirth,” but it was the picture of my stillbirth. I
had taken Kierra, a “Heavenly Welcome” online class, and I was
to use the imaginative part of my brain to picture our bedroom
even though I was not there. The picture that came to mind was
myself in fields of green grass and purple flowers. Next to it
was the calm, peaceful sounds of the ocean sea. Prompted by
the questions about where Jesus and the Holy Spirit were, and
if they had any words or gifts for me during this delivery, I pic-
tured Jesus holding my right hand and my heart with the other
hand.

The Holy Spirit was on the left side, whispering three words
into my ear: supernatural, powerful and peaceful. I felt loved,
looked after, and confirmed that this would be a beautiful birth.
I planned that everything would go well, and this peaceful scene
was supposed to be my happy place during labor and birth. Af-
ter we lost our son, I caught myself saying in my head, “‘Well,
I guess that was not for me. I must have heard God wrong.”
Then it hit me, “Wait, that was still for me and this experience,
though I was not expecting this outcome.”

One detail showed me just how pertinent the vision was for
my loss. I missed it initially, but it became clear as I reflected
on God’s heart. Jesus held his hand over my heart, protecting
me from something. I would like to think this was a protection
of the onslaught of loss, the aftermath of the reality of primary
and secondary losses. God’s heart was holding my mind, will,
and emotions. God was beside me. This is a picture of God’s
heart for you too in your loss. He intimately knows your broken
heart. The Creator of the universe knew this was coming, and
designed comfort ahead of time. He sends comfort ahead of this
event. How has He done that for you? The answer may or may
not be obvious.

God wants to speak to us. We have to know how to listen to
His heart and tune to know His voice. We have God’s thoughts,
our thoughts, and Satan’s thoughts, and we must learn to dis-
cern. In the book, Eyes that See and Ears that Hear: A parent’s guide
to teaching the children how to hear the voice of God, the author

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