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70 SPIRIT AND THE MIND
from my clinical observations, which hint at and help define a reality beyond mind—and to suggest possibilities for treatment beyond our usually accepted ones. Because I want to speak the language best suited for the mainstream and because the psychoanalytic model has been so influential in shaping modern psychology, I’ll talk in the language and with the concepts of the psychoanalytic orientation.
Because we will be focusing on her fears one might mistakenly think that A.T. is “troubled” more than most and that these fears are not operative in “normal” people. Quite the contrary. It’s important to point out that the fears we will be looking at are not related just to A.T., but are universal and lie within all of us. As I tried to point out in Chapter 7, A.T. is actually a uniquely talented, creative, adventuresome and intelligent person. I chose to use this material because of her strengths—because she had the courage to reach under the surface, deep into an inner world, which we all share, to places where many of us would be too frightened to tread—and had the capacity and talent to clearly describe what lies there. She represents an aspect of all of us—and the particular struggle she expresses between her intellect and her spirit reflects the conflict that psychology has with spirituality.
FEARS OF SALVATION
A.T. returned hardy and tan from a river-rafting trip with her husband. “Being in the wild, on the water six to eight hours a day, shooting rapids through untouched country, was sheer delight. We’d stop, build a fìre, have a nice meal and feel at peace with the world,” she exclaimed.
She liked to talk about the meaning and joy she found in the outdoors; closeness with it brought her a sense of great exhilaration. Granted, nature is an attractive subject, but I sensed that A.T. was using it in therapy to avoid exploring deeper inner experiences where she would have to encounter more painful issues. She continued,