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my second book at the time and took some chapters to work on if it seemed appropriate to break my one-pointed focus on Soham (pronounced Sohum), a mantra meaning “I am He.”
Initially, the exercise seemed easy. Having jet lag, which made my mind fuzzy and less interested in the outer world, helped me. I could easily stay quiet and focused internally. Aer a few days, I felt extreme peace with this exercise; my twice-daily darshan of Swami, who was supremely beautiful and inspiring, heightened my inner experience of expansion and peace. Soon, however, I was aracted to the gi store in the hotel. Giving in to the temptation, I entered it and found a wonderful book of photographs of the high Himalayas. This book and a tape of bhajans were my only distractions from my intense focus on Soham.
When I listened to the bhajans with my eyes closed and the lights low, I lost physical consciousness and felt part of the music. When I looked at the expansive scenes of the high Himalayas and vast sky, I felt expanded into infinite space. Exhilarated by the experience, I used one of the photographs for the cover of my second book.
About ten days into this practice, I began to be frightened by my increasing isolation. I began to strongly miss my wife and felt sad about the thought of eventually having to give up my wife and family. I felt that it was a wretched strain for me to pull myself away prematurely from my family and professional life, that it was too early and that I had more to do in the outer world. Throughout this period, I was also reading a book in which Swami said that many yogis made the terrible mistake of thinking that detachment from the outer world meant denial of it, withdrawal from it, and isolation. He said that the external world when seen correctly from the heart is a reflection of God, and we should relate and rejoice in it with this awareness and with dharmic behavior.
It was at this point I understood that a critical step on the spiritual path is proper dharmic involvement in the outer
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