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Geing caught in a drama envelopes us in the illusion that I am the doer. If we continue thinking that a project belongs to us, then Swami will teach us a mighty lesson. He knows if we are only giving lip service to our surrender or if it comes sincerely from the heart. He knows when and how to teach us deeper lessons.
What would it take to give up experiencing myself as the doer and know that Swami is the all-knowing doer? What would it take to understand that everything that happens is due to his will and is in my best interest, even if I can’t understand the logic? The process is beyond human intellect. Only the divine master knows how to apply the knife. The making of this film was a superb example of how Swami instructs, uplis, and purifies us through holy acts of service.
Along the way, we were faced with challenges that rubbed and, at times, pounded our egos. The big crisis came during the presentation of the film to Swami at the summer school. I don’t think I passed the test very well. I wanted to please him so much that I began to think that I was in control. I squeezed and sweated when things looked bad instead of acting out of deep faith and surrendering everything to him. His love and repeating his precious name, however, brought me through this storm to a deeper appreciation of how detachment and surrender lead to peace of mind.
Panoramic view of the Hillview Stadium