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through healthy restraint and control and by puing a ceiling on desires. Swami cautions us about how easy it is to dissipate our energy in the outer world.
The wealthy man is one who has lile desire. (SSB)
Fighting Fire with Love
I recently began treating a retired firefighter and his wife. The fireman developed emotional problems when he witnessed his friend die in the course of a rescue while he was completely powerless to help. My patient developed a severe posraumatic stress disorder and had to retire. He withdrew to his home and had difficulty leaving.
This man’s teenage daughter and son were disrespectful to him and his wife. They would raise their voices and talk down to their parents. The son had discipline problems in school. He talked back to his teachers, did not want to work during the summer break, and yet demanded that his parents provide him a comfortable allowance. His daughter le the care of her out-of-wedlock infant to the parents, at times for a full day and even overnight. My patient recognized that he had contributed to the problem by having been an absent father in the past. He offered money as a way of showing his affection and didn’t provide counsel or impart values that would bring sanity to his children’s behavior. If they said, “Good-bye Dad, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he didn’t even ask where they were going or what they were doing.
Naturally this couple was upset with the inconsiderate and rude behavior of their children. They didn’t know how to talk to their children or even if it was right to do so. They thought that seing down limits would only anger the children; they might even run off and get into worse trouble. My patient and his wife thought their only option was to let the situation continue as it was.
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