Page 101 - 21 Distinctions of Wealth: Attract the Abundance You Deserve - PDFDrive.com

HIDDEN NEGATIVE BELIEF #4:
"If I Ask Others for Money, I'll Upset Them and They'll Become Angry with Me"
Even if you feel entitled to ask someone else for financial assistance, he or she may not feel that you're entitled to do so, and it's possible that the person might become angry with you because he or she feels that you're being disrespectful by asking. You're never responsible for others' feelings. What you are responsible for is truly valuing them and whatever help they can give you and changing your behaviors regarding money so that you don't end up in the same situation of neediness and lack again. After all, people want to help others make a permanent change for the better. They don't want to see their precious gifts squandered.
When you take on the responsibility for your actions and emotions, you'll find it easier not to feel guilty or ashamed for asking. One of my clients was in a relationship with a man from another country, and she was very uncomfortable when he lent a large sum of money to his cousin. She thought it was terrible that the cousin asked for the money given how hard her boyfriend had to work for it. She worried about whether the debt would be repaid and what would happen to her boyfriend if it wasn't, because he was working in his family's store and the money represented his entire financial cushion. Her boyfriend explained to her that in his culture, people lend large sums of money to their loved ones because it strengthens the bonds of family, and such loans are always repaid. He wasn't at all worried about his cousin paying him back, and in fact his cousin did repay him a couple of years later. The relative who borrowed the money hadn't been ashamed or guilty about asking for the loan because he had no doubt that he'd treat the money with respect, invest it wisely, and be able to return it.
On the other hand, sometimes when people lend money to a family member, their relationship with that person falls apart because the lenders feel that they aren't being respected for their generous act. The problem isn't that people sometimes can't meet their financial obligations to others; rather, it's that when they can't, they'll often allow their own feelings of embarrassment, shame, or fear prevent them from doing the right thing, talking to their family member or friend, and trying to repay the loan however they can. This is why people will