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Social Intelligence is the intellecutal ability applied in Social Field. It is the ability to
understand people and select appropriate response in interpersonal situations. A socially
intelligent person takes early start with strangers. He not only begins well but also maintains
relations for a long period and knows well when and how to part away. Social Intelligence is a
direct application of EQ (as discussed earlier) because in interpersonal situations understanding and
control of emotions play a great deal. Also, knowledge, information about society, its norms and customs
and maturity in expectations from others help in acquisition of social intelligence. It is often seen that people
with high degree of academic achievements are weak in establishment and maintenance of social relations.
Due to high achievement motivation in academic field, people ignore chances of socialisation. They think
socialisation is distracting and wastage of time. This philosophy results in making such persons
Aloo Fish and ecccentric in nature. Adding to this, dependence on personal likers and preferences,
generalisation of past experience, socially supplied prejudices etc. play their complex role in
social situations. Such things are detrimental to the making of a healthy Life in Armed forces
specially in the officer cadre needs a high level of emotional and social intelligence.

Getting clued up ?
A young officer was to go for a dinner party for the first time. The thought of interaction with ladies was
making him nervous because he never had such an opportunity ever in the past. So he went to his senior officer
for some practical guidance.
The senior was a seasoned man for occasions of this type. “That is hardly any problem young man, introduce
yourself and then ask the ladies about their marriage, children to begin with and just pick up”.
‘Marriage-children’ kept reverberating in his mind and he joined the party. Holding uncomfortably a glass he
found a lady very near to him alone. Obviously it was only a discourtesy to ignore her. “Ma’am, are you
married ?” the young man broke the ice. “No” came a cold reply from the lady. My first question was shot down.
The young officer felt more nervous.
Gathering himself, he thought of trying the other question. “Fine ma’am, how many children you have ?”
“Are you crazy ? How the hell you expect me to have children once I told you I am not married ?” The lady gave
him a devouring look and advised him to behave.
The frustrated young man thought of trying his luck with another lady, “Perhaps I have put my questions in a
wrong order with the previous lady and so she got annoyed.” With the revised sequence in his mind and a better
resolve, he approached another lady who was expecting someone to strike conversation.
The young man advanced and after introducing himself he asked the lady about her children first. The lady
was delighted and told about her three children at length. The young man listened without any interest but gave
no hint to the lady. At least the conversation was going on. Finally the lady stopped and between them loomed
an uncomfortable lull.
Now let me ask the other questions. Again the lady will continue her chatter, thought the young man.
Enthused about his success with the first question, he told “So much about your children ma’am. But tell me are
you married also ?”
Attitude Towards Others—Attitude plays very important role in social situations. Attitude is
shaped by the influence of environment. It is a rather complex process. We here do not mention attitude
in that sense. Here attitude refer to the ability to put oneself into the other man’s position so as to
appreciate justifiable difficulties and render help. It means to empathise and sympathise with others
whenever they encounter difficulties and discomfiture. This quality separates a truly effective and
humanitarian leader from an authoritarian leader. It may be remembered that it is not humanly possible
to achieve every desired goal. Success is not the universal story even in the case of Armed Forces.
Armed Forces also encounter failures, setbacks and losses. Sometimes, even best put in efforts go in
vain. One may choose to become authoritarian and blame his subordinates/superiors for lack of effort or
vision but it is not advisable in all cases. A healthy and humanitarian attitude towards others keeps the
cohesiveness of the group intact even in face of failures.
Tact—It refers to skillful management of the others responses in interpersonal situations. It involves two
important things reading and analysis of other person’s intentions and selection of one’s own responses so that
the outcome of the interaction is desirable. Management of other person’s behaviour requires ability to read
between lines quickly and manoeuvre the situation in a favourable direction without being unpleasant. Tact is
an important quality of leaders.