Page 50 - The Chapka 2016
P. 50

 When Lieutenant Jibb tells you not to panic, inevitably, you be- gin to panic. When he’s dressed as the Mayor of a large Roman town called Pompeii, and he tells you that Mount Vesuvius is not going to erupt, well, you’ve seen the films... So opened the Mess Ball for 2016 and the inevitable pyroclastic carnage ensued. Un- der the manic imaginations of Messrs Henson and Clarkson, the Mess recreated the glory of Roman life, the grimy afterward, and a 30ft high volcano that failed every fire inspection the Garrison could throw at it. As the inaugural event for the Mess in 2016 and the first Royal Lancers’ Officers’ Mess Ball, Roman elegance was the planned vibe and by 11pm on the evening itself, the Mess had utterly failed, as per usual, to maintain any elegance. With Vesuvius erupting with completely legally acquired fire- works and Troop Leaders busy introducing and blocking each
Lieutenant Jibb auditions for Zoolander 3
other from their respective sisters, the Mess introduced itself to the Catterick social scene with aplomb. So began 2016.
As befitting a cavalry regiment, 2016 also began with a series of equestrian-related events with also typical mixed success. As has been customary, the subalterns continued on their Community Outreach programme with arduous attendances at the Bedale and West of Yore Hunt Balls, gamely entertaining the youth of Yorkshire (society). Indeed, they were introduced as the cast of War and Peace at the latter event; a fact they quickly dispelled, though not before signing an autograph and getting two tele- phone numbers. The second equestrian event of 2016 was Lieu- tenant Kellard’s eagerly awaited ride in the Grand Military Cup at Sandown Racecourse. The Mess attended in style, joined by
The Officers’ Mess
   Lieutenant Parker falls over in front of everyone important
 Thug Life

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