Page 27 - 060120 Senior Voice Citrus24 proof 4

Religion
Religion
Listening Equals Love
By Dr. Tim
Lantzy,
Senior Pastor
First Baptist
Church,
Crystal River
Listening is
one of the easiest things we do
and one of the hardest things we
do. Everyone thinks they know
how to listen—that’s the easy
part. But taking time to listen
the right way—that’s the hard
part.
Sometimes the most important
thing you can do for a person is
to uncross your arms, make eye
contact, lean forward and give
them your undivided attention.
Listening builds relationships.
You deepen your connection
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with people when you listen.
Social psychologists have
identified five levels of listening.
Level one is called “ignoring.”
Ignoring is not listening at all.
You don’t make eye contact, you
don’t concentrate and you don’t
care what the person has to say.
Level two is called
“pretending.” This is only half
listening because you think
you already know what the
person is going to say. This is
listening that is more interested
in responding to the person
than hearing what he or she has
to say. You only listen long
enough to either decide what to
say in response or to mentally
reject the other person’s point of
view.
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Senior Voice of Citrus County - OCTOBER 2020 • 27
Level three is called “selective your attention to the other
listening.” You only listen to person. You focus upon the
certain parts of the conversation words being said. You ask the
and ignore the rest. A common person questions about what he
example of selective listening or she just said. You respond
is when you nod your head at by saying things like: “Let me
what the person is saying but
make sure that I’m hearing you
your eyes are focused upon correctly.” “What did you mean
the television screen or the by that statement?” “Let me
computer screen. The problem summarize what I’m hearing
is that when someone concludes and you tell me if I’m hearing
that you’re not really listening you correctly.”
to what he or she has to say,
that person feels hurt. Selective Level five is called “empathic
listening communicates that the listening.” This is listening
with the goal of understanding
other person doesn’t count and the other person. It reflects
that their feelings aren’t worth the principle taught by
your time. Stephen Covey: “Seek first
Level four is called “attentive to understand, then to be
listening.” You put aside your understood.”
agenda, take a break from
what you’re doing, and give Continued on page 31
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