Page 365 - swanns-way
P. 365

there must certainly be a woman somewhere who insists on
         his going to her at all hours,’ made him feel that he was lead-
         ing the life of the class of men whose existence is coloured
         by a love-affair, and in whom the perpetual sacrifice which
         they are making of their comfort and of their practical in-
         terests has engendered a spiritual charm. Then, though he
         may not consciously have taken this into consideration, the
         certainty that she was waiting for him, that she was not any-
         where or with anyone else, that he would see her before he
         went home, drew the sting from that anguish, forgotten, it is
         true, but latent and ever ready to be reawakened, which he
         had felt on the evening when Odette had left the Verdurins’
         before his arrival, an anguish the actual cessation of which
         was so agreeable that it might even be called a state of hap-
         piness. Perhaps it was to that hour of anguish that there
         must be attributed the importance which Odette had since
         assumed in his life. Other people are, as a rule, so immate-
         rial to us that, when we have entrusted to any one of them
         the power to cause so much suffering or happiness to our-
         selves, that person seems at once to belong to a different
         universe, is surrounded with poetry, makes of our lives a
         vast expanse, quick with sensation, on which that person
         and ourselves are ever more or less in contact. Swann could
         not without anxiety ask himself what Odette would mean to
         him in the years that were to come. Sometimes, as he looked
         up from his victoria on those fine and frosty nights of early
         spring, and saw the dazzling moonbeams fall between his
         eyes and the deserted streets, he would think of that other
         face, gleaming and faintly roseate like the moon’s, which

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