Page 549 - swanns-way
P. 549

which was still so recent, might well have been true; and he
         said to himself: ‘People don’t know when they are happy.
         They’re never so unhappy as they think they are.’ But he
         reflected that this existence had lasted already for several
         years, that all that he could now hope for was that it should
         last for ever, that he would sacrifice his work, his pleasures,
         his friends, in fact the whole of his life to the daily expec-
         tation of a meeting which, when it occurred, would bring
         him no happiness; and he asked himself whether he was
         not mistaken, whether the circumstances that had favoured
         their relations and had prevented a final rupture had not
         done a disservice to his career, whether the outcome to be
         desired was not that as to which he rejoiced that it happened
         only in dreams—his own departure; and he said to him-
         self that people did not know when they were unhappy, that
         they were never so happy as they supposed.
            Sometimes he hoped that she would die, painlessly, in
         some  accident,  she  who  was  out  of  doors  in  the  streets,
         crossing busy thoroughfares, from morning to night. And
         as she always returned safe and sound, he marvelled at the
         strength, at the suppleness of the human body, which was
         able continually to hold in check, to outwit all the perils that
         environed it (which to Swann seemed innumerable, since his
         own secret desire had strewn them in her path), and so al-
         lowed its occupant, the soul, to abandon itself, day after day,
         and almost with impunity, to its career of mendacity, to the
         pursuit of pleasure. And Swann felt a very cordial sympathy
         with that Mahomet II whose portrait by Bellini he admired,
         who, on finding that he had fallen madly in love with one of

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