Page 411 - the-portrait-of-a-lady
P. 411

‘I can’t pretend to console you,’ said the girl, who, all still
         as she sat there, threw herself back with a sort of inward
         triumph on the answer that had satisfied him so little six
         months before. He was pleasant, he was powerful, he was
         gallant; there was no better man than he. But her answer
         remained.
            ‘It’s very well you don’t try to console me; it wouldn’t be
         in your power,’ she heard him say through the medium of
         her strange elation.
            ‘I hoped we should meet again, because I had no fear
         you would attempt to make me feel I had wronged you. But
         when  you  do  that—the  pain’s  greater  than  the  pleasure.’
         And she got up with a small conscious majesty, looking for
         her companions.
            ‘I don’t want to make you feel that; of course I can’t say
         that. I only just want you to know one or two things—in
         fairness to myself, as it were. I won’t return to the subject
         again. I felt very strongly what I expressed to you last year; I
         couldn’t think of anything else. I tried to forget—energeti-
         cally, systematically. I tried to take an interest in somebody
         else. I tell you this because I want you to know I did my
         duty. I didn’t succeed. It was for the same purpose I went
         abroad—as  far  away  as  possible.  They  say  travelling  dis-
         tracts the mind, but it didn’t distract mine. I’ve thought of
         you perpetually, ever since I last saw you. I’m exactly the
         same. I love you just as much, and everything I said to you
         then is just as true. This instant at which I speak to you
         shows me again exactly how, to my great misfortune, you
         just insuperably charm me. There—I can’t say less. I don’t

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