Page 1048 - ANNA KARENINA

Anna Karenina

agonizing sensation of division that he experienced at that
instant. He was offended for the first instant, but the very
same second he felt that he could not be offended by her,
that she was himself. He felt for the first moment as a man

feels when, having suddenly received a violent blow from
behind, he turns round, angry and eager to avenge
himself, to look for his antagonist, and finds that it is he
himself who has accidentally struck himself, that there is
no one to be angry with, and that he must put up with
and try to soothe the pain.
Never afterwards did he feel it with such intensity, but
this first time he could not for a long while get over it. His
natural feeling urged him to defend himself, to prove to
her she was wrong; but to prove her wrong would mean
irritating her still more and making the rupture greater that
was the cause of all his suffering. One habitual feeling
impelled him to get rid of the blame and to pass it on her.
Another feeling, even stronger, impelled him as quickly as
possible to smooth over the rupture without letting it
grow greater. To remain under such undeserved reproach
was wretched, but to make her suffer by justifying himself
was worse still. Like a man half-awake in an agony of pain,
he wanted to tear out, to fling away the aching place, and
coming to his senses, he felt that the aching place was

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