Page 1644 - ANNA KARENINA

Anna Karenina

drifting apart.’ She went on musing. ‘And there’s no help
for it. He is everything for me, and I want him more and
more to give himself up to me entirely. And he wants
more and more to get away from me. We walked to meet

each other up to the time of our love, and then we have
been irresistibly drifting in different directions. And there’s
no altering that. He tells me I’m insanely jealous, and I
have told myself that I am insanely jealous; but it’s not
true. I’m not jealous, but I’m unsatisfied. But...’ she
opened her lips, and shifted her place in the carriage in the
excitement, aroused by the thought that suddenly struck
her. ‘If I could be anything but a mistress, passionately
caring for nothing but his caresses; but I can’t and I don’t
care to be anything else. And by that desire I rouse
aversion in him, and he rouses fury in me, and it cannot
be different. Don’t I know that he wouldn’t deceive me,
that he has no schemes about Princess Sorokina, that he’s
not in love with Kitty, that he won’t desert me! I know all
that, but it makes it no better for me. If without loving
me, from DUTY he’ll be good and kind to me, without
what I want, that’s a thousand times worse than
unkindness! That’s—hell! And that’s just how it is. For a
long while now he hasn’t loved me. And where love ends,
hate begins. I don’t know these streets at all. Hills it seems,

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